Girl……preach! Any request to lift a finger right now feels like you are requesting an organ donation. They get stinkier, their rooms get funkier. You quickly approach your wits end and you think of what your parents would have said to you if your room EVER looked like that after multiple requests to fix it. Your blood pressure steadily rises and your shoulders raise up.
Yelling hasn’t been going well and I got tired. It was time to try a different approach. I asked my child what she thought was getting in her way. She hit me with a quick, simple response.
“When I was younger, you would always clean with me. I kind of followed your lead. I have no idea where to start when I’m by myself!”
Ooooooohhhh! Before we label it laziness, let’s remember: overwhelm looks messy.
The truth is, preteens are in a strange middle space. They’re old enough to “know better”… but still young enough to feel completely overwhelmed by a messy room.
When we say,
“Go clean your room,”
what they often hear is:
“Climb Mount Everest without equipment.”
So instead of bigger lectures, what they actually need is smaller steps.
Here’s how to teach room-cleaning in a way that builds competence instead of conflict.
