It’s framed as simple. Natural. Instinctive. As if there’s one right answer and your body will just cooperate.

For many of us, it isn’t that clear.

I pushed through. I told myself this is what good mothers do. But when I look back on that season, I see how much pressure I silently absorbed. Breastfeeding didn’t feel effortless or empowering — it felt heavy. It created isolation. It increased the mental load. I missed time at work trying to make it all function.

 

I struggled with pumping, and I feared introducing bottles. So nighttime feedings became my responsibility by default. Not because my husband wasn’t willing — but because I felt like I couldn’t let go of control. I carried the exhaustion alone.

 

In hindsight, I wonder how much more I could have enjoyed her if I had loosened my grip on doing it “right.”

 

Feeding your baby should nourish both of you. If the method is draining the mother completely, it’s worth reassessing. Support matters. Shared responsibility matters. Maternal mental health matters.

 

There is no medal for suffering through it.

However you feed your baby, the goal is connection and nutrition — not martyrdom